We humans are masters of resentment—a characteristic that can be traced back the beginnings of recorded history. Feuds seem to be an indelible aspect of the human condition, but why should this be? We spoke to the experts to find out why we love to hold a grudge, and the importance of letting go.
Like other emotions, the capacity for hate and resentment are learned and reinforced over the course of our lives—but they’re also etched in the wiring of our DNA. When we boil feelings of resentment and the desire for revenge down to the most basic level, they’re really about an evolved mental state that’s driving us to achieve some sort of goal. Ultimately, feuds are rooted in desire, and the seeking of a particular outcome.