Why We Argue Best with Our Mouths Shut

Christine Herman | Christianity Today

When Tim Keller announced he would be stepping down from his New York City congregation—known for its outreach to the religiously unaffiliated—he shared his thoughts on how evangelicals could better connect with skeptics.

“We could do a far better job of patiently listening,” Keller told The Huffington Post. “And we should not talk until we can represent the skeptic’s viewpoint with empathy so that a skeptic friend says, ‘Yes, that is my hang up; I couldn’t have put it better myself.’ Only then should [we] try to . . . recommend the Christian faith to them.”

Keller echoed the conventional evangelical wisdom: “You can’t argue someone into the kingdom.” Both common sense and research confirm this is true; it is very hard to change a person’s strongly held beliefs—religious or otherwise.

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